The "Space" to zoom out
- Athma
- Feb 7
- 2 min read
Setbacks are part of our lives. There is little value in trying to avoid them. The real question is - How do you deal with them?
In Buddhism, this idea is captured in the teaching of the two arrows. Each time we face a setback, two arrows fly our way:
Arrow #1 (inevitable): Represents physical or emotional pain. This cannot be avoided - it is part of being alive.
Arrow #2 (optional): Represents the story we tell ourselves. We blame ourselves, dwell in emotional distress or fear that we'll never be able to get out of it.
So, you get the theory - what next?
How do you implement this in real life?
Let me share what I do for myself and with my clients - hope this can spark some ideas for you.
During pivotal moments of my life, I've turned to what I call "exiles" as my way of dealing with setbacks. For me, they create space to disconnect, zoom out and see things in a broader context.
Back in 2013, I was struggling with my identity and felt deeply unsure about my purpose in life.
I felt lost...
I quit my job, and went on a 3-month hike through the Himalayas in Nepal, Bhutan and India. That physical and mental distance gave me the perspective I desperately needed.
This helped me think about "Arrow #2" and the stories I was telling myself rather than the situation itself.
Since then, "zooming out" has become a regular practice for me. Of course, you cannot do 3-month trips all the time (though that'd be nice!). If you can disconnect even for a day or two, that could help you with a lot of clarity. All you need is "space" to reflect. If this resonates with you, I invite you to attempt it.
In a previous blog, I shared what I learned from long solo hikes and how I now bring those insights into my work with clients. That could also help spark some ideas for you!
I'll leave you with a couple of questions:
How do you define your "space" to reflect? It could be a location, a mental image you return to or a person with whom you feel safe and grounded.
When you look at the Life calendar by Tim Urban (famous for waitbutwhy.com) below, what does it spark in you?
Need help finding your space?
Coach Athma
Life Coach, Toronto, Canada
